central scare

Since I left my car at the shop last night, I took the bus aaaand the T followed by a 12 minute walk into work today. Central Square is always full of crazies but at least there's the beacon of light in the Starbuck's located right at the top of the T steps. I headed in and was followed by a guy who hadn't showered or used deodorant for a good week. I held my breath and waited it out. If I was going to wait to have coffee 30 minutes into my commute, it was going to be for Starbucks.

While fixing up my grande toffee nut iced coffee with some whole milk, the guy next to me sniffed at the pitcher of cream that he held in his hand. He sniffed, looked at me, sniffed, looked at the stinky guy who had sidled up on the other side of him and said to him, "Does this smell bad to you?" The guy waved his hand in a no, no thanks kind of way, so he tried to get my attention again. I gave my best "does-it-look-like-I-want-to-join-in-your-cream-conversation-me-thinks-not" scowl, but he tried anyway.

"Do you think this smells bad?"

"I don't smell stuff." (It's true! Not just an excuse for the crazy.)

"Ha, yeah, some people don't like to. I worked on a dairy farm and that kind of stuff doesn't usually bother me, but on this one, I just can't tell..."

I nodded and bolted out of Starbuck's with my tasty treat and gasping for "fresh" air and waited to cross Mass Ave. with everyone else.

Just as a group of us were stepping onto the curb of the opposite side, this woman who I hadn't taken much notice of turned to me and said in a Swedish accent:

"Jesus Christ! Why are you stalking me up my back? You feel like a dead ghost!"

When she first started her assualt, I smiled, thinking she wanted to vent something TO me, not AT me. I'm not the type to be quick on someone's heels - I like my personal space as much as the next guy and rarely come into danger of giving someone a flat tire. Then my expression turned startled, which provoked the next taunt from the Metro guy:

"Smile lady! There you go! Have a good day!"

I don't miss commuting via public transportation much.