"i don't look like a monkey"

Observations while watching the American Idol auditions:

1. I miss watching them with Laura. We would convulse from laughter, gasping for air and make proclomations of "going to hell" (us, not them.) Now we text. Not quite the same.

2. Makes me wonder, which I frequently do, "how do people get like that?"

3. Pink mesh netting does not disguise sausage arms. Or legs. Please, no matter how punkalicous you are: don't. do. it.

4. Wherever you go, whoever you are, you will find a friend. The world, it turns out, is not that cruel. (See title of this post).

5. If your boobs are so big that they visibly swing back and forth as you walk, newsflash!, you need a bra. Always.

6. Yelling is not singing.

7. You do not need to wear a costume to get noticed. Unless you want people to laugh at you. Title of the show?

8. If you believe, try and try again. Sometimes the third time is a charm.

9. Singing the part of the Cowardly Lion is not going to get you to Hollywood. Not on this show anyway.

10. Count your blessings friends. We are a very fortunate, lucky group.

the pats win!

Heard tonight:

"Nice! Now we're going for a two point conversion!"

"What does that mean?"

"We go back to that line and have a chance to run it in again."

"Oh! So for three points? Yay!"

if one little eggy...

I've been slacking in lots of departments lately, the exercise one included. It was a warm evening, a good night to get out and stretch my limbs down at Castle Island.

As I was strolling, I came across a family having a minor meltdown, which is likely to happen in the summer heat after a long day. The mother held her toddler daughter in her arms as the little one wiped furiously at her face, red hot tears matting her hair down. They appeared to be in a standoff, staring across the boardwalk at dad and who must've been her twin brother, since they were the same size and, sadly, seemed to have the same haircut too. She, though, was in a dress and he had on the requisite blue outfit. You could tell that some sort of hitting or pinching fight had just transpired...

... and it reminded me of a conversation I've had within the past year or two with one of my friends. A story was being told about a brother and sister duo who are twins, and one of my brilliant friends asked, "Are they identical?"

Read that last line again if you must.

Um, NO, one has a penis and one has a vagina.

"Oh, ha, yeah I guess that make sense. But explain to me again how twins happen?"

If one little eggy splits in two, they are identical... if there's more than one little eggy...

"Oh, right..."

I wish I could remember who it was because, I'd like to a) harrass them about it again now and b) thank them for providing a much needed giggle after a trying day.

competing priorities

First, read Lala's last two posts here.

Make sure to read the comments under "Cake or Pie?"

So as I get the the bottom of the latest post, I call Laura and berate, "Um, hello?"

And she said, "What, pie?"

"Um, nooooo. Something a little more exciting than pie! Which, by the way, is still just wrong."

"Ice cream cake just ruined it for me. And all the bad frostings..."

"But, even bad can be good, and all the soft chocolately goodness... YOUR MOTHER IS ENGAGED?!"

vocabulary lesson

I've got all sorts of babies coming in to my life. Christina delivered Gianna in August, sister Liz delivered Creighton in September. Caitlin is due the day after my birthday and has been asking me about the experiences of the two new mommies. Well didn't I go and spill the beans that they both suffered uncomfortable circumstances during delivery.

Caitlin went to her birthing class at MGH the very next day and told the doctor, who was shocked that both Christina and Liz suffered such distress.

It wasn't until a couple weeks later that I realized I had told Caitlin about their Hernias when I meant Hemorrhoids.