going, going, going up

We have bad elevator politics going on in my building.

I need to set this up by saying that our elevator is the. slowest. one. in the WORLD. There are only six floors in my building and between waiting downstairs for one to arrive and the trip up, it could literally take 10 minutes. At my old job, I could go from the lobby to the 21st floor in less time than it takes to get to the second floor here. No joke.

And they're forever breaking down. You know you're in danger and which one to avoid for a couple days when they begin to shake. To make matters worse as the breakdown nears, the doors will take many excrutiating moments to open as the gears jostle to engage. Once a week you'll hear the alarm bell being rung by some poor soul who probably doesn't realize they're not really stuck, the doors are just taking their sweet ass time to open.

All this to say that there are folks who work on the second floor who wait around and take the elevator. They can see that the elevator is currently on the 6th floor and wait wait wait. They could've been at their desks had they taken the freaking stairs! And who wants to subject themselves to the audible groans of the other riders when we see they press the 2 button? We burn holes into the back of their head with our eyes and cast forlorn glances at each other. When the elevator doors finally close on them someone will undoubtedly remark on the lack of consideration. "I'll never get those 3 minutes back!"

It would be one thing if these people had a physical ailment preventing them from taking the stairs, but that would be an abnormally large cluster of people suffering from busted knees or asthma.

There is one guy who goes out to smoke his butt, gets a plate of sausages, fried eggs and hash browns and a giant Pepsi and then comes and waits for the elevator. Hey, buddy, put down the butt and heart attack on a plate and take the stairs. Do your body some good!

I often tell myself that maybe I should start taking the stairs to save myself the time and frustration. But that's six whole flights. I'll take the drama.